Anger

I've got a new iGoogle set up, from which I'm typing this blog. A new month, a renewed sense that I need to get a lot done. Above this box I'm typing in is my horoscope. It tells me that since I haven't been able to get my annoyance out of my system it could build into anger. Ha... perhaps it also has some idea of just how much anger I've got going right now.

My girlfriend calls me to tell me the bill money is missing. Checks to see if I had accidently grabbed it. We check every where of course (the whole house is tore apart). She had come and picked me up for lunch just to have an extra set of eyes. I even cleaned the house last night so if it did get misplaced from when it was seen this morning it should be easy to find.

But there is always more to the story. My girlfriend is what I like to call a "reader." She seriously can read people like they are books. To simplify it, she is pretty sure where it went and who took it. All I can keep focusing on is why do we even bother to make friends? I want to be a hermit. I want to live in a cave. As long as I can access the internet I'd be happy, I'd even take something as slow as dialup. At least I'd find the time to write then huh?

My horoscope also tells me not to project my frustration at others and search for the source of the problem within. But like I said, there is always more to the story. I had a mental breakdown on Friday due to the strain that life in general (or life as it has been in the past year or so) has put on my relationship. Too much stress, too much crap, and even more drama when other people get involved. I seriously need to get away, with my girl, before it gets to the point where she gets away from me and I never see her again.

I've got my brother's wedding coming up soon. My family also puts a lot of strain on my relationship.

Also I have cramps and I just downed a Mtn Dew (which is much different that the usual diet cola's I drink). At least some good thing is coming out of this. I suddenly feel the motiviation to write....