Friday, March 9, 2012

Called Out

I love how brief but interesting conversations inspire deep thoughts and me posting something. Wait, let me rephrase that, when someone calls me out.  Not in a bad way, mind you (especially since the person who called me out I know reads this).

I had recently saw an article posted on Facebook about Utah passing a bill to restrict homosexuals being talked about in school, even if kids ask, and to only teach abstinence (Click Here to Read).  Oh and the school can actually opt out of sex ed all together.  It made me think. What is worse? Being told we are evil and going to hell *or* pretending like we do not exist at all.

So a comment was made from someone who knows me, how she noticed how I edit myself around certain people.  She was amazed at how I can keep something that is an integral part of me just kind of pushed to the side. (Feel free to reword that if I worded it wrong). Like she couldn't even imagine doing it.

She understand why of course.  Just telling everyone, when you don't know how they will react can be dangerous.  Idaho is a state where they can still fire me for being gay (and the senator who was trying to get that changed was blocked once again from even getting a hearing, you might have read about it in one of those NY newspapers). People are still violent.  It still isn't safe.  Sure there are people who do know. Partly because I got called out for a hickey on my neck (thank you dear), but by that time I knew the person I was informing was okay to tell.

And it isn't like I full on hide it, or talk about "my boyfriend" or straight-up lie (yes I'm punning). In fact the other day I got asked if I was married, I said I'm in a committed relationship for 6 years and left it at that. Now I'm 99.9% sure one of the girls sitting at the table is Mormon, but I'm not sure if she is cool or not (but tend to err on the side of not usually in those cases). I'm sure they all figured it out without me telling them. I'm sure they've overheard me talk about my girlfriend to those I do talk about it with. Most people do figure it out because sometimes I can't stop talking about my "roommate."

So to bring it all back around.  Am I doing a disservice by not talking about it in front of those who are on the wrong side of history here?  Do I need to say I'm in a committed relationship with a female directly for me to have an impact? They say people are changing their minds because they know gay people. Let me rephrase that they know "normal" people who are gay. People who are like them who just happen to be gay. Am I pretending I don't exist and adding to the problem? Am I banking too much on figuring them to figure it out and realizing that I am an awesome "normal" person and therefor gay people are alright?

Not sure exactly where I was going with this but that is usually what happens when I rant and question. Feel free to comment. I want some interaction on this blog.  Feel free to tell me I'm a horrible gay person (because you have the right to say it and I have the right to ignore you).  Personally, I do what I can where I know it will make a difference. I often preach to the choir (hello blog) but maybe someday along the road it will make a difference to someone.

1 comment:

  1. As the caller out I'll definitely ad more of my two cents. When its just me and you talking and you mention B we can joke around and it is comfortable and friendly. I've noticed this with other people who aren't out or even people who are but meet someone new. There is this caution, fear. I hate it. Seeing you tense up and self censor. Seeing my nephew, who is loving and friendly, turn Oz like stoic. My neighbors hesitate at the door upon meeting me the first time not knowing how I'll react. It freaking sucks. Yes, I think in some situations it is wise but I want to live in a world where being gay has become a 'so what' and the caution isn't needed.

    Where you can feel just as comfortable at work singing B's praises (she does btw, you've got her hooked) as I do my DH.

    I don't think you do it wrong. Your sexual orientation isn't anyone's business, nor does it have any baring on your ability to perform a job. If it allows you privacy and keeps you safe, then not being 100% out at work is a good decision. I'm not 100% out at work either. Man, if they only knew the stuff I get up to. :)